Dear Redheaded Mohawk Lady on Massachusetts Avenue,
Please don't mutter hateful things at me under your breath just because you decided to cross in the street, well outside of the pedestrian crosswalk. If you decide to angle suddenly into the street and a cyclist smashes into you because you're not looking...well...that just isn't the cyclist's problem. I will do everything in my power to NOT hit you, but you realize that you do play a role in your own safety, yes?
Dear Guy in a Car on Connecticut Avenue,
Yes, the traffic is a hideous bottleneck here. That's why I ride in between the lanes, constantly dodging side mirrors and the sides of 18-wheelers. It's a fairly terrifying experience in itself, and it is made even worse when you angle your car into my path to block me. Especially because me and my bike are fairly thin, so I'm going to pass you anyway, and this will probably just anger you further. Really, it's best to let me pass through and move on with your day.
While I very much appreciate the new bike lanes, I beg you wholeheartedly to fix the wintertime potholes in the roads. For those of us skinny-tired folk, they create dangerous and unnecessary obstacles on streets that already need repaving.
In addition, pedestrians who get stuck halfway across Pennsylvania Avenue are standing in the bike lane, and you neglected to give them a place to stand where they don't have to worry about getting flattened by some roadie.
Dear Other Guy in a Car on Connecticut Avenue,
I would like to emphasize how utterly unnecessary it is to lay on your horn, then flip off the guy in front of you for not moving fast enough at the green light. Why? He was attempting to turn left, there was a giant truck in his way, and really, where was he supposed to go? Get over yourself.
Dear Guys in Suits,
Stop standing in the 15th Street bike lane. I will mow you down.
Love and kisses,