Monday, September 5, 2011

The seriousness with which I approach my future

I'm presently working on practice sets for the GRE while drinking a bottle of $6 Chardonnay--straight out of the bottle. It's actually pretty tasty--Whole Foods doesn't sell shit wine, or the yuppies would stop going there.

I realize that I need to do much better than the 1200 I got last round (in my defense, I didn't study much and I was really sick), but I'm distressed that the results of this standardized test may prove to me and the rest of the world that I'm not actually smart, nor capable of attending grad school.

Hence the wine.

Also, reading these ridiculous GRE passages through the veil of alcohol causes them to become much more understandable. I may consider pregaming the test.

Monday, August 29, 2011

Apparently when you are the CEO of a major hotel chain and the president of Cornell's Hotel Management School, you and your family are entitled to free bike rentals, even though you are probably richer than god.

Apparently you are also entitled to return those bikes incredibly late because you had a conference call in the middle of your bike ride--much to the annoyance of the sales girl who you are keeping from a 12-mile commute that will eventually get her home to dinner.

You better leave a fucking gigantic tip.

Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Being cheap for Jesus

I really don't understand people who think they deserve special treatment because they're church groups. It's generally not a problem, but every once in awhile, I get a customer who demands that they be treated differently/get a discount because of it.

Do I understand that churches tend to have less money? Yeah, totally. Do I give them breaks because of this? (Like the $10 discount per person I gave this one group in particular?) Absolutely. But at the same time, I work for a business that needs to keep its doors open somehow, and we can't do that by cutting people slack simply because they carry a cross with their name.

This particularly annoys me when I know that the church is affluent, has agreed to the price, has paid for it, then plays the "We've got Jesus on our side and SHAME ON YOU" card me to try and intimidate me somehow. We have policies (i.e. service charges for refunds) that hold true for ALL customers, Christian, Jewish, Hindu, Buddhist, Muslim or atheist, and we make them very clear to people. By entering into a business agreement with us, you agree to abide by them.

So pardon me, church in New Jersey, that I'm not weeping holy tears of sympathy for you.

Friday, June 17, 2011

Jobs you probably don't want to apply for

Most hilarious posting I've seen on Craigs' List all day:

Thursday, June 16, 2011

The bulky thighs are a dead giveaway

Guy from Louisiana on tour today: "Are you a cycler?" (maybe he said "cyclister")

Me: "Yes, actually, I am."

Guy: "I could tell."


I hate it when customers point out to me that I have big legs (that's where the guy's eyes were pointing when he asked this question). It's not like I don't know already. It's not like I'm not already aware that, though the rest of me is a size 2 or 4, jeans are designed for muscle-less women, so I instead stuff my legs into 8s, and sometimes those don't even fit.

Am I self-conscious about this? Hell no. I will wear whatever I please because, fuck it, DC is hot in the summer, and when it's 97 degrees and humid, I don't give three shits what anyone thinks.


The other day, a (male) friend of mine looked down past my shorts and went "Woah. Massive legs."

My friend, while I love him, is not the most tactful human on the planet, so I would like to point out to the men of the world that it is NOT a good idea to point out to a woman that ANY part of her is larger than average, even if you mean it as a compliment. Saying, "Hey, you (or, if you're bold: "your legs") look great in those shorts!" is fine. Saying, "Hey, you have big legs" is not. You might as well call the girl "thunder thighs," kick her in the face, and walk away. It has about the same effect.

Friday, June 3, 2011

Work (more complaints)

I am so. fucking. tired. So is everyone I work with. I'm not sure when it became the norm to work 12-14 hour days on a regular basis and to have days off limited to one per week, but that seems to be the case so far this summer. And when you work for a seasonal company, they don't HAVE to pay you overtime, so you can (and will) be at work pretty much all the time--especially when you (and your coworkers) are managers and it seems as though things explode when you are gone. At least I get paid for every hour I work, which is more than I can say for some people at the company.

And they wonder why they can't keep employees.

So today is my one day off, and I'm debating what to do with myself. Anything involving doing anything remotely responsible (i.e. laundry, cleaning the kitchen, cleaning the bathroom, or any number of things that I really ought to be doing) is out. I was thinking a bike ride along the W&OD trail might be nice, but I don't remember how to find it, and if the above paragraph hasn't made it clear already, I have no energy.

The problem is, I have to do something, otherwise I will sit and stare at my cell phone all day, praying for a call from a new job situation. When they said last week, "We're looking to make a decision by the end of next week," I can only assume they meant today, but it could also have meant yesterday, but I didn't hear anything then, so needless to say, my nerves are on edge.

Blargh. The good news is, I get some vacation time in 3 weeks! Not paid vacation or anything (that would just be silly--who gets paid for vacation?), but a chance to breathe for about 5 days.

Maybe I'll make a I can bring it into work tomorrow...

Friday, May 6, 2011

Futures and such

It's been about a year since I graduated from college, so pardon the minute or two I'm going to take for self-reflection...

I haven't been kind to this blog recently. Updates have been less and less frequent, and when I do update, it's generally whining about how hideous and terrible customers/people on the streets have been.

Sad to say, when you work with tourists, at least 45% of your conversation is occupied by whining about customers and how much you hate your job. And when you're a cyclist, at least 50% of your conversation is devoted to bitching about how much better you are than everyone else on the road--including pedestrians. That leaves only 5% for topics such as--oh, I don't know--world politics, the economy, what other people are up to, future aspirations and to be fair, I haven't had much to say these past few months.

There's this little bubble of hope in my chest that promises I'll find another job soon. It's not so much that the job sucks as the frustration that comes with having been in the same spot for a year since graduation. My job search has been less-than full-throttle, and I seem to lack the luck that some folks have had in landing something that pays halfway decently.

Then again--part of me sees some of my friends in positions that truly, truly suck with bosses that are truly, truly incompetent assholes, and I don't feel like I have it so bad. DC also seems to be full of positions that sound really good, but in actuality--aren't. It's lots of people wanting to make a difference caught up in a bureaucratic whirl. At least I harbor no delusions about my own in the rat race. I'm just another rat--albeit one who rides a bike.

So that all being said...I need to go back to school. Badly. And I need to move away from this city. I've struggled back and forth with getting a business degree in sustainable tourism management, going for a PhD in library and information sciences (still on the list), and going to school for anthropology. My goal for right now? To get into UBC's socio-cultural anthropology program, and to bike across the continent to get to Vancouver.

I was looking to buy a new bike recently, and when I ticked off the different bikes I was looking at to my coworker (including a single speed, a 3-speed townie bike, a road bike, and a touring/commmuter bike), he said "It sounds like you don't know what you want." It's the same thing with grad schools...all the subjects that I've thought about would work in one way or another, but it's a matter of honing in on the right one.

It may be taking me longer than most folks...but I'll get there. Eventually.